


Woden

by Digibear



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, rivamika
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 11:30:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digibear/pseuds/Digibear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After escaping the Female Type in the Forest of Giant Trees, Mikasa starts to notice Levi in various ways. After he takes her under his wing, she slowly learns to trust him and the relationship between them slowly grows and matures. Set in a grotesque, mature Shingeki no Kyojin universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woden

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. 
> 
> Note: Debut work on AO3.
> 
> Note 2: The format of this story is heavily borrowed from the Draco/Hermione fic The Fallout by everythursday, which will forever be far greater than anything I will ever write. 
> 
> Rated M: Gore, violence, language, war, adult situations.
> 
> Woden: Old English version of Odin, god of war

**Hour: 1**

He was just… standing there.

Maybe her brain was playing tricks on her, but it looked as if the wings on his cloak were sulking.  Both tips, black and white, bowing down in subtle grief.  It could’ve been the downward slope of his shoulders, or the way his arms just fell limp by his sides, but for a moment it was if that jacket and him were one. 

She looked away then, feeling as if she was watching something she shouldn’t.  The whole setting struck a chord in her: how there was nothing else in his sight except his fallen comrades on the ground, their bloody bodies wrapped in white.  Behind them stood an expanse of grass and trees and mountains, and the sky was a brilliant quilt of hues. They were free, she thought, they earned their wings.

It was a horrible thing for her to think that he was used to this. Was she serious?

No one got used to this.

**Hour: 6**

Coming back through the gates was the longest and most stressful ten minutes of her life. People shouting accusations, teenagers throwing garbage, wealthy citizens eyeing them like wasted investments. The worst part was that all of them were strangely justified.

Eren was still crying when they got to Headquarters.

**Hour: 7**

She spotted Levi in one of the empty rooms of the castle, hands in his pockets and his hair lifted in the wind coming through the window.

Apparently, Eren wasn’t the only one coming back with wet eyes.

**Hour: 8**

Holding a damp cloth in her shaking fingers, she wiped blood off of her arms.  She didn’t know whose it was, and she didn’t exactly want to know. “Disgusting,” she murmured, watching as the blood didn’t wash off completely, but instead turned her skin an orange hue.

To her side, Armin was putting her shaking hand to shame. He couldn’t even keep the water from sloshing out of all sides of the cup he was holding, and Mikasa had to steady it for him and tip it into his mouth.  After taking several audible gulps, the blond released his lips and wiped them with his sleeve.

“You should sleep,” Mikasa urged him. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she gripped it hard enough to get him to look at her. “Eating can wait if you can’t keep anything down.”

The boy just shook his head. “I won’t be able to sleep, either,” he said in a hushed voice, “There’s too much to mull over.”

Mikasa nodded in understanding before getting off the well. The feeling of mushy moss on her bottom made her slightly uncomfortable, but she needed a place to go to escape the endless sight of body bags and bloody limbs. “I’m going back.  You need anything?”

Armin just shook his head and cast weary eyes on the ground, not giving another word.  Mikasa took this as her cue to go, mentally noting to visit him in his room later. Whatever he saw must’ve been pretty awful.

Going back to the barracks where the injured were kept, she grabbed some gloves from the bin by the door and positioned her mask back around her mouth. She berated herself for not masking her mouth and nose sooner; the rancid smell of the infirmary was enough to make her gag.

After missions, it was imperative that the wounded were tended to immediately. All of them were unloaded and immediately carried to designated locations, with able-bodied people helping them however possible.

Mikasa was assigned to the room with Eren, as per her wordless request.  After getting ready, she walked up to his bunk before checking the others. “Eren… How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” he grunted as he struggled to sit up. The bandage around his head was starting to sag, so Mikasa went to unwrap it. A small smile made its way to her face when he didn’t push her away.

“Armin is still pretty shaken up,” she whispered with concern, letting the prideful moment fade.

Eren kept staring at the lumps in the covers that were his legs. Apparently he was more interested in the way the blanket creased more than how her mouth did. Either that or he was as concerned as she was, which was more likely since this was Armin they were talking about. “Where is he?”

“Outside, by the stables. You should check up on him.”

“Alright,” the boy nodded, eyes still red and glazed over from his crying fit in the cart.

Mikasa sighed, remembering just how broken he looked. When they saw those kids watching them as they made their way back to Headquarters, both of them froze. Images of themselves came flooding back, and the two of them couldn’t produce any coherent thoughts. Just for that moment, while no one else could see, Eren shattered his strong façade and just _cried_. Not because of the mission, not because of failure, but because he was leading that little boy to his fate.  It was in that moment that he felt the true burden of the Scouting Legion. It was in that moment that he finally knew what he got himself into.

She was there to see his tears, quietly letting some of her own fall. With each sob, he reminded her that he was just a kid, and that she swore to his mother that she’d keep him alive.

But this time, someone else did her job. Can’t say that she liked it. She felt a small pang in her stomach from not being strong enough to do it alone.

Mikasa felt that she needed to tell Eren about it. He deserved to know that he had someone else watching over him, as much as that pained her.

Gathering up enough courage, she looked at him, oblivious to the footsteps behind her. “Eren, about what happened earlier—”

 “Eren’s friend from the trial,” a voice interrupted, “We need to talk about what you did.”

Mikasa was about to turn and tell him that she had a name, but Eren spoke to her first, “Mikasa?” She noticed that his eyes were wide and his voice was tiny, “Did you…”

Suddenly, Mikasa had a flashback to the time she murmured her death threats to Levi in front of Eren.  Waving one of her hands, she explained, “No, no, it’s not like that.”

“Like what,” Levi tilted his head, watching her expression.

Not being one to mince words, she said, “I plan on getting you back for what you did to him.” Her voice wasn’t harsh, but rather stony. The glint in her eyes was so sharp Levi had to feign indifference and look away.

He seemed to be wondering about what he did because it took him awhile to ask, “At the trial?”

Mikasa didn’t have time for stupid questions. She just sat there, scrunching up Eren’s bandage in her palm. He knows what he did, and she’ll never forget it.

“All I remember doing was saving his ass. Now are you going to follow me out or what?”

“I’m not going—”

“Mikasa,” Eren whispered, placing a hand over hers. She looked up at him before narrowing her eyes.

“Alright, fine,” she forced out before standing. Levi didn’t even give her a second glance as he led her out of the infirmary. Mikasa kept her head up, not wanting to look at anyone lying helplessly on the ground.

Eren watched them leave, wondering what they were going to talk about and how that conversation could’ve gone a lot worse.

What happened between them since the trial?

**Day 2, Hour: 6**

_“What you did on the mission was the stupidest thing you could’ve done.”_

_“I don’t care. I’m only here to protect Eren, and I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe.”_

_“So this is how you’ve been living your whole life?”_

_“That’s none of your business.”_

_“It is if I’m considering putting you on the special ops squad.”_

_“Do what you want. Just know that, when it comes down to someone else’s life and his, you know who I’ll choose.”_

_“You’ve made that perfectly clear.”_

_“How so?”_

_“You didn’t even think about your_ own _life when it came to saving his. You expect to keep him safe? How are you going to do that if you’re dead?”_

_“…I—”_

_“You and me, practice fields, tomorrow at dawn.”_

_“Hold on a second—”_

_“Like hell I will.”_

Mikasa grunted as she shoved on her boot, feeling like a child. Was this his way of keeping her in check? To train her? It irked her to no end that he was pushing her around.

But in the end, she needed practice. She wasn’t going to let him take her place as Eren’s protector, but that meant a lot more training and a lot more experience.

Opening the door to her room, she was shocked to see him already waiting for her outside. Miffed, she huffed, “I thought we were meeting at the practice fields.”

“We are, but we need to eat first.”

It was way too early to be dealing with him.  She should’ve known what she was getting herself into. Mikasa gave him a once-over, scrutinizing the way he was dressed. Instead of the uniform, he was sporting a black suit. “Aren’t you training with me?”

“Not today,” he clarified, “Today I’ll be evaluating your skills.”

Somehow, this pissed her off more than the last conversation they had. “What the hell does that mean? You’ve seen my report, haven’t you?”

“It’s decent,” he drawled, watching her reaction. Well, she wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction. “As far as physical stats go, you have little room for improvement. It’s the cognitive sense and battle strategy that we’re going to work on.”

She scowled, despite her chest swelling with pride at his subtle compliment. “My battle strategy stat was greater than almost all the trainees.”

The look he gave her only served to deepen her frown. “Yes, brilliant. Your battle strategy was superb compared to a bunch of lowlifes who either faked interest in strategy or studied it enough to escape danger and live comfortably in the capital.”

For a moment, Mikasa only wondered if Levi sounded plain bored or extremely sarcastic. Either way, he was right and deserved a punch in the gut. Relenting, she sighed again, “Fine. So, what did you have in mind?”

“We’ll discuss this over breakfast. I wanted to eat before everyone crowded the dining hall.”

So that’s the reason they getting up at this ungodly hour. A ragged sigh escaped her lips as she folded her arms in defeat. Mikasa was trying her best to hide the fact that she hadn’t slept last night. Every time she closed her eyes, Eren kept getting eaten by the Female Titan as she ripped his neck apart. The only solution was for her to stay up and watch the candle slowly die. A forced “Alright, Captain” sizzled on her tongue.

“Levi,” he drawled, earning another pointed look from her. Looking away, he shot, “Just Levi is fine.”

“Oh… Okay.”

**Day 4, Hour: 4**

“How’s Eren doing,” he asked as they got out of their fourth and final meeting for the day. Throughout the week, Erwin held meetings in secret for them to discuss who the Female Titan might be and how to find them once it was determined.  Eren wasn’t allowed to go to these meetings, since he would either reject every proposal they came up with or defend any person they suspected. Mikasa got a headache just thinking about what would happen if he was there.

At the end of the meeting, Armin was the one who voiced his speculations, and it was sound enough for Erwin to be convinced. They then worked on the plans for Annie Leonhardt’s capture for about three hours before dismissing. Mikasa wasn’t surprised it was Annie; remembering how isolated she was. It was Jean that still couldn’t wrap his head around it. No doubt it’ll be even harder for him to trust anyone he meets now.  

Tucking a stray hair behind her ear, Mikasa murmured, “He’s fine. He’s not going to like what we say to him tonight, though.”

“Well, he’s gonna have to get over it soon. There’s no room for sympathy in war.”

Mikasa was silent, mulling over his words. Just the other day she caught him with wet eyes in a room by himself. Something told her he talks big to hide his flaws, and she understood that concept perfectly.

**Day 4, Hour: 9**

“Eren, you should calm down—”

“—Do you guys hear yourselves? Annie isn’t the Female Titan! She would never…”

Mikasa slammed her hand on the wooden tabletop, feeling something stick her. She didn’t care about that, though. Eren was being flat-out ignorant and she was getting sick of the talking. Jumping out of her chair, she called out, “Why don’t _you_ listen to yourself! Do you hear what you’re saying? You’re defending someone who has killed hundreds of our comrades and you can’t even prove it! We have little evidence, but it’s enough to go on so just think about it for a second!”

“But all you have is speculation!” Eren yelled back, just as furious. Mikasa had to take a step back when she saw the fury in his eyes. He swung his head to Armin, who held his hands up as a shield. Watching his friend cower in fear made his voice slightly softer, “Armin… How could you do this?”

“I’m sorry, Eren…” Armin’s eyes were so wide Mikasa feared they would fall to the floor at any minute. But his voice was firm, which she was proud of. “I know it’s not much to go on, but you have to trust us. All we have is the power of deduction, and she just happened to be the only person who fit our reasoning… If she’s not the Female Type, you can… You can hit me. I give you my permission—”

“—Don’t be stupid,” Mikasa interjected. Armin let out a noise and looked back at her. She narrowed her eyes and whispered, “That won’t be necessary. I won’t let him hurt you.”

Eren looked between the both of them before sighing. “She’s right, Armin. It’s fine… I won’t hit you. But, if Annie isn’t the Female Titan, I won’t forgive you for accusing her.”

“Eren!” Mikasa couldn’t believe how childish he was being. And not just that; she was also wondering why he was going this far to defend someone he only knew for just a small amount of time… Something flared in her gut, and her words came out before she could rein them in, “Why are you being so defensive? What has Annie done to make you like this?”

It was an unfair thing to say, especially in front of Erwin and everyone else in the room. However, Mikasa was so bent on finding out why Eren took such a defensive stance on the whole situation that she didn’t care who was there or not. She needed an answer and she was going to get one.

Well, she thought she was.

“Are you guys done? I’m getting bored.”

Everyone turned to Levi sitting at the head of the table, the most annoyed expression on his face. His cup was abandoned long ago, but the fact that there was still tea in it made Mikasa think that he was entertained by the three of them. She scoffed and shoved her chair in before stalking out of the room. To hell with it if she left without permission, she wasn’t listening in anymore.

**Day 5, Hour: 8**

Mikasa got one glance from Eren before he looked away and continued walking.

**Day 5, Hour: 12**

All the titan dummies were scattered in pieces across the field, dust suspended in the surrounding air. Mikasa didn’t look behind her as she sheathed her weapons, closing her eyes and taking one long breath.

There was always an escape from her problems, and it was exercise. Slicing something up and hitting the crap out of something else caused her to go on autopilot. Composure came to her wrapped in a bow of adrenaline. She could always turn to rigorous training to calm her nerves, but this time it seemed like she overdid it.

“Something’s bothering you,” Levi observed from the edge of the clearing. Leaning against a sturdy tree, his arms unfolded as he pushed his back off of it. “Is it Eren?”

“None of your business,” she snapped, biting the inside of her cheek afterwards. 

He stopped for a moment before folding his arms again. Tilting his head, he sighed, “Erwin’s not going to be happy about the damages, but to hell what he thinks. Let’s go on to the next field.”

“Right,” she whispered as she finally glanced over her shoulder. Gazing over the broken pieces of wood, Mikasa didn’t feel one ounce of regret.

Both of them silently made their way to the next training field over. Levi didn’t say another word since then.

**Day 7, Hour: 3**

“Mikasa, focus,” Levi whispered as they loaded her horse. He only offered because she looked so out of it when he saw her that morning. She was going with Armin and Eren to the capital while he rode there in a carriage with Erwin and Jean dressed as Eren. Safe to say the boy was objecting the idea every hour since they assigned the part to him.    

“I am focused,” she said harshly before pulling the saddle strap too hard. The horse moved in discomfort and nickered before she loosened the material considerably. She was about to tighten the next strap when Levi’s hand brushed hers.

Mikasa gave him a look when he grabbed her cloak from his shoulder. Handing it to her while trying not to look at her face, he said, “I found it on one of the tables. I’m not just telling you to focus for the sake of being mean. You should know me better than that.”

The young woman took it with a slight blush on her cheeks. How could she forget her cloak of all things? “Oh… Thanks,” she murmured as she wrapped it around her and clipped it on. Checking the rest of her equipment—lest she forgot anything _else_ —she patted herself down and huffed.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t leave anything else behind,” Levi said with a slight turn of his lips. Was he seriously amused by her? Honestly.

Mikasa gave him a glare before mounting her horse. Shaking her head, she pushed her thought train back to the mission. It was a huge risk. If they didn’t do it right, hundreds of people could be in jeopardy. With a flick of her wrist, Mikasa tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Breathe, she thought.

All they had to do was get Annie captured, no matter what. If things went wrong, she was going for the kill and no one could stop her.

Levi petted her horse’s mane while looking up at her. She thought he looked like a little kid, but she wasn’t stupid enough to say that out loud. His voice was calm as he spoke, “Remember what we went over.”

“Don’t worry about me,” she spat, not looking at him. There he was, treating her like a child again.

“I never said that I was,” he countered before walking to the carriage. Erwin and Jean were already settled inside the moving box.

Mikasa watched him go before pulling the reins to the left, steering her horse towards Armin’s. When he spotted her, he waved slightly. For some reason, her stomach was churning and her hands stayed frozen on the reins.

**Day 7, Hour: 6**

Everything was going wrong. Annie wreaked havoc on the town after transforming and compromising the entire mission. Buildings collapsed under her weight and crushed bodies like flies, including a church at the center of the city. Rubble lined the streets like bread crumbs in the titan’s path as she raced toward what they assumed was the Wall. Armin was shouting things and Hanji was barking orders every five seconds. When an entire bloody arm knocked into the blond, Mikasa had to look away before he vomited on the roof.

The whole ground shook and rumbled with each step Annie took, and Mikasa took off from Armin’s side and rushed to follow her. Her eyes were trained on the giant, her brain calculating her next move and remembering what Levi and she worked on the past few days.

_“If she makes a move for you, what do you do?”_

_“Change the angle of your swing.”_

_“And how do you do that in midair?”_

_“Pull in your legs and force your body sideways.”_

_“Correct, and if she manages to grab you?”_

_“Pull in the wires and let the force of them send you spinning, keeping your swords out and in rapid circles. Something about central fugitive force.”_

_“It’s_ centrifugal _force, but I’ll let that slide.”_

_“Whatever.”_

Buildings crumbled like bread as Annie ran through the streets, one hand over her neck and the other swiping at her enemies. Behind her, Eren was smashed into the side of a tall brick wall, steam rolling off him in several places. Mikasa gritted her teeth before swinging back around and following on Annie’s heels.

Person after person swung at the Female Type, and every single one failed or retreated before she could kill them. It was as if Annie didn’t care how she did it; every swipe of her hand, every crush of her fingers, every stomp of her foot was a kill-shot. Cold-blooded murder. After trailing on her heels for only two minutes, Mikasa was covered in splotches of peoples’ blood. She was extremely close to losing the only food she consumed that day.

Annie needed to be stopped.

When it was Mikasa’s turn, she propelled herself forward and did the dodge-and-slice maneuver that Levi taught her just yesterday. Not only did she do it correctly, she was able to nick Annie’s cheek in the process. A gash the size of Mikasa’s entire body appeared on Annie’s face as Mikasa propelled to the safest rooftop.

With a small crease in her eyebrows, the young woman thanked the man for his knowledge. She already felt stronger and more experienced with that one move.

An open clearing and one more beaten up Eren later, Annie was heading straight for the Wall. Armin called out in despair as she clawed her way to the top, but Mikasa wasn’t one to stand there and let her get away.

Ascending the Wall on what seemed like a pair of wings, Mikasa reached Annie in no time. The large expanse of muscle clinging to the Wall was no match for her speed, and she beat the Female Type before she could reach the top. For the split second she was suspended in air, Mikasa remembered the last thing Levi pointed out.

_“We now know that titan shifters can freeze their bodies, resulting in impenetrable muscle. If Annie freezes any part of her neck, we’re done for. However, if she freezes her fingers or her toes, there’s a way to get around that.”_

_“Cut her limbs before the ice can spread.”_

_“Exactly.”_

With a cry so loud her own ears rang, Mikasa grappled the Wall and swung with so much force that all of Annie’s fingers were sliced clean through right under the iced over parts of them. Mikasa held onto the Wall for one second before unleashing her swords on Annie’s other hand. With a sick satisfaction, Mikasa watched on as for once, it was the titan with a scared look on its face.

“Annie… Fall.”

**Day 7, Hour: 10**

Mikasa was furious.

_Insanely_ furious.

Everything she did up until then was utterly and painfully useless, now that Annie decided to incase herself in a shell nothing could break through. How could she be so stupid? There was plenty of time to go straight for Annie’s nape and kill her in one fell swoop. Was she really that soft as to spare her life?

What was worse, she had the luxury of being the first person to discover that there were titans in the Walls. They were being protected from titans… _by_ titans? The whole thing didn’t make sense. Her brain felt like it was pulsing and swirling at the same time, and three hours later she still couldn’t deal with it.

She shut her door with a bang and held her head in her hands. It was too much. Nothing made sense. Everything was wrong.

Unsheathing both of her swords, she gripped the handles before flinging them to the other side of the room. Twin weapons ricocheted off the stone before skittering across the floor at different angles. Her gas tanks hit the ground like tree stumps as she unhooked them both, clinking madly. The last thing she bothered to take off was her jacket, and she near well tore it off and slammed it on the ground.

“Fuck!”

She was almost to her bed when the door to her room opened. Levi was halfway in when she seethed, “Not now, Levi. Get out!”

“No. You need to calm down—”

“—Stop, right there. I’m tired of it,” her hand was up, halting him. 

Levi creased his brow. “Tired of _what_?”

Mikasa scrunched her hands. So he wasn’t even going to leave her then? Fine. “Tired of you treating me like a child! ‘Mikasa, focus.’ ‘Mikasa, calm down.’ Let me do whatever the hell I want and leave me alone!”

“You’re certainly not helping your situation out,” he drawled, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this immature. Don’t you think you’re overreacting—”

Overreacting? _Overreacting?_

That was it for her. In a blind rage, she lunged at him, catching him off-guard. His back slammed into the door with a thud, and her hands just kept hitting him, clawing at him.

“Fuck you,” she screamed as her hands punched and punched at him. Despite her onslaught, she was only able to get a few scratches and hits in before his strong hands gripped both her wrists. Thinking fast, she tried to headbutt him and close the distance. Levi saw this coming from a mile away, though, kicking her legs off balance and switching their positions. Mikasa grunted when the back of her head hit the door, and her face contorted in anger as she struggled. “Fuck you,” she yelled again, “I hate you!”

“Mikasa, stop,” he grunted in desperation. She challenged him more, moving her legs to kick him before he pinned them down with his own. Following this, he slammed both of her wrists to the door, holding them so hard she screamed in pain. “Fucking stop already,” he whispered.

“You’re hurting me,” she cried out, feeling his grip loosen immediately. His gesture allowed her to halt her struggling enough to breathe. The storm raging in her heart quelled with each breath she took, and after her heavy breathing subsided, she hung her head on Levi’s chest.

First one tear came, then another, then a whole river of them leaked from her eyes as she stood there sobbing into his shirt. Levi watched her head bob up and down with each raspy sob, prying his hands from her wrist and letting her go.

As soon as her hands were free, they immediately went to grip his shirt. Her words came out like broken pieces of glass, carefully plucked one at a time from off the floor, “I failed… I should’ve stopped her… I should’ve killed her… The titans… In the walls… Eren’s not waking up… Levi, too much—”

Sturdy arms gripped her shoulders and he pushed her away from him, gently. Her eyes held more tears in them than light, and he stared at them for what seemed like forever. What he was thinking about, she could’ve cared less about at the moment. The adrenaline was doing things to her brain and she was so tired of it.

“I know,” he said in a soft tone, “But there’s nothing we can do about any of that now. Let’s not focus on what we should’ve done, because it has already been done. So what if you didn’t kill her; so what if she got away. That doesn’t mean it’s over.”

Mikasa steadied her breathing and shoved her hands across her eyes. “I understand,” she murmured, now embarrassed to be like this in front of her captain.

Levi saw a stray strand of her hair and reached to tuck it in, but he pulled his hand away and shoved it into his pocket. “If you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward. Never forget that.”

Mikasa’s face hardened at his words, a new flare of hope igniting in her. He was right, there was still time to fix things. It wasn’t over yet.

There was still much to be done. 

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Thank you for reading! I shall try to update whenever I can. I won't set any solid update deadlines for now.


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